Reclaiming Sunday Nights

Ever since I can remember, I’ve dreaded Sunday nights.  And I was one of those strange kids that liked school and even more fortunate adults who liked her job – and I still dreaded Sunday nights.  How did mere mortals feel?

The finality of the weekend is always such a bummer.  In what seems counterintuitive to me, it’s even harder now that I am a stay-at-home mom.  Don’t get me wrong, I love being home with my daughter.  And one of the perks that came as a surprise to me was how much better the weekends are now that I’m home during the week.  I work hard to get all the stuff that is necessary for life done during the week so that when the weekend comes, we can focus on enjoying it.  Enjoy it we do.  And then Sunday night comes and all I can think is “it’s five long days until we’re back here again.”  It’s a really terrible perspective.

A couple months ago, I read an article in Real Simple where people shared meal highlights and ideas.  One lady wrote about how she grew up with Sunday nights being the one night a week that her mother didn’t make a complete meal or they didn’t sit at the dining room table to eat it.  I can’t remember the exact menu, except that it included a baguette and popcorn and they ate it at the coffee table while watching TV.  I was immediately drawn to the idea of doing something “special” – but simple – on Sunday nights as a family.

So I instituted Sunday Night Snacky Supper.  We have Bible Study every other Sunday night, but on the Sundays when we’re home, it’s Snacky Supper.  The menu varies slightly, but usually includes a meat and cheese tray, crackers, veggies & dip, and fruit.  I joke that it’s snacks disguised as a meal.  Admittedly, sometimes my husband says that I don’t disguise it enough.  If I’m feeling really ambitious, I’ll add a hot appetizer of some sort.

We’ve been doing this for a couple months, and I have loved it.  One of the side benefits that I didn’t realize until after we did it for a few weeks was that is was a great excuse to get all the fruits and veggies washed and cut up before the week.  Both my husband and I are great about snacking on fruits and veggies if they’re in a container in the fridge.  If they’re “whole” and in the crisper drawer, we don’t touch them.  I don’t know why, it’s just the way we both are.  So prepping supper on Sunday nights does double-duty for getting easily accessible healthy snacks.

My husband and I aren’t big TV watchers – in that we don’t have shows that we watch.  We do, however, love sports, so if we’re watching TV, there’s a 90% chance that a sporting event is on our TV. Most Sundays, I bring Snacky Supper to our family room and we eat supper while watching a game.

Last Sunday, there was no sporting event on, so I suggested that we have a family Wii tournament.  I honestly don’t know where the idea came from.  I’ve played Wii ten times in my life, maybe.  But I thought it would be a fun change of pace.  We invited family to join us, but they had other plans, so it was just my husband, me and our 21 month old.  My husband and I played tennis, bowled, hit home runs (or, in my case, didn’t hit home runs) and golfed.  In between turns, we ventured over to the supper trays and grazed.  We let our daughter do the same thing.  She’s never had a meal that didn’t involve sitting in her chair with her food on her plate, so we weren’t sure how it would go, but she did great.  We started out with a plate on her lap, but once she finished that, then she did what Mom and Dad did.  This was in between her laughing at the funny dances I did when I had a great shot and cheering for whoever was up at the moment she decided to cheer.

It was one of the most fun nights we’ve had a in a long time.  And it happened on a Sunday!  It wasn’t until I laid down that night that I realized that it was Sunday night and I was in a good mood.  It had been too long since that had been the case.

Snacky Supper had been a tradition for a while now, but this new game component of it was here to stay.

It won’t always be Wii Tournaments, if, for no other reason than I’m not sure which emotion would hit first for me, boredom or frustration with constantly losing.  This summer, it will probably be an assortment of lawn games.  During the long Minnesota winters, I’d imagine it will be back to Wii and good old-fashioned board games.  The common denominator being that there will be some sort of fun activity for our family to do together.

The reason that I was always so grumpy on Sunday nights is that our family time had come to a close.  What Snacky Supper made me realize is that instead of wasting the little bit of remaining time left mourning that, I should take advantage of it with the very people that make the weekends so great.

Reclaiming Sunday nights (or whatever time where you need what my Grandpa used to call an “attitude adjustment”) was all about figuring out what brought me the most joy.  For some people it may be that they need to be alone.  For others, they may want to enjoy a really nice dinner on their fancy china in their formal dining room.  For me, it was being intentional about spending time with my family and doing something fun.  As far as the meal, the key has been that I don’t have to decide what to make each week and I don’t have to spend a lot of time with prep, cooking or clean-up.

Now the problem is looking forward to Sunday nights so much that I have to be careful not to wish the weekend away.  Not a bad problem to have.

When life gets real

The idea for this blog started almost two years ago.  Work began about a year and a half ago, with the idea that we would launch when everything was ready.  So it sat for months and we would work on it in spurts.  Finally, in January, my husband and I buckled down and decided to pick a launch date and work to have anything ready that we needed by then.  For no real reason, other than it was the perfect blend of attainable and it lit a fire under us to finish, we picked March 1st.  And everything was done by then.

One factor that did not get considered in picking a launch date was my pregnancy.  We found out that I was pregnant at the beginning of February and it never occurred to me that the pregnancy would affect any goals we had for the blog.  I was wrong.  This is my second pregnancy, and I have suffered the typical exhaustion and nausea that comes with the first trimester during both of them.  This time, it really knocked me on my butt.

There was no maximization to my days whatsoever.  If a day ended with my daughter still alive and well and our house was standing, it was a success.  I slept every possible minute and laid down whenever my daughter let me.  My husband took care of grocery shopping and I’m fairly certain that we will be responsible for a spike in profits for the Stouffer’s company.  All the while, this little blog went live and my ideas and insights for squeezing the most out of life were available for anyone to read.

I felt like such a hypocrite.

My day to day life looked nothing like the habits I was promoting.  Family and close friends kept reminding me that this was just a phase.  It won’t be like this forever.  And while I knew that this was true, it didn’t make me feel any better.

I finally started to turn a corner at the beginning of April and had grand plans for a month of posts about the benefits of and tricks for menu planning.  Obviously, that never happened.  Even though I was starting to feel better, it took me a lot longer than I would have liked to get back in the swing of things.  And the longer I didn’t do anything with the blog, the more the hypocrisy lingered over me.  Who am I to make suggestions to people when I don’t do them myself?  Even when I’m not nauseous every waking minute of the day.

Then I remembered why I started this little endeavor to begin with.  It’s so easy to look around and be overwhelmed by what we think we should be doing or look like or have and settle for the lie that it’s not possible.  There are limitations, obviously.  I’m never going to be the mom that runs marathons, looks like Kate Middleton or has the shoe collection I covet. But parts of what I desire for my days to look like are attainable with some self-discipline and help from others.  And I firmly believe that this is true for everyone.  Our surrounding circumstances do not dictate what our life has to look like.

When I started reading blogs a few years ago, I found a few that I really enjoyed and read faithfully.  But most of what I found on the blogosphere made me feel inferior (through no fault of those bloggers – it’s just my own insecurities).  When I first thought about ‘Maximizing Days’, my hope and goal for it was that it would be a place where people would be encouraged and feel equipped – and that it would show real life.

Pregnancy sickness and exhaustion lead to two months of inactivity, missed opportunities, messes, and a lot of tears.  But, by God’s grace, in four short months, the end result of that will be a beautiful bundle of joy that I can hold in my arms (along with more inactivity, missed opportunities, LOTS of messes and a lot of tears).  Those days are over now.  New days are here.  And with each of those days, I can choose to make the little decisions that make life better in the big picture.

And you can too.

Those grand plans that I had for meal planning tips are now in the works for the month of June.  Stay tuned.

Not letting your deep freezer become a black hole

One of my husband’s favorite stories to tell comes from when we moved from our first apartment to our first house.  Not thinking about it’s implications, I assigned him the task of packing the contents of our deep freezer in coolers.  Only once it was his job to pull everything out of the freezer, did it became clear to him how much stuff we had in there.

Having a lot of food in the deep freezer isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  That’s what they’re there for.  The problem was  how long much of the stuff had been in there.  In my frugality, I have a reputation for not throwing things away.  Every time I cleaned the freezer, I would find things that I forgot were in there or that I’d probably never use.  But there was nothing wrong with them, so I’d think “Well, I’ll use it sometime” and pack it back in there.  In an organized fashion, of course….

The more food Josh pulled out of the freezer, the more he made his case that if I hadn’t used much of this food in the last two or three years – yes, YEARS – I wasn’t ever going to use it.  I insisted that I would and he asked why I hadn’t used it yet.  I tried defending myself, but honestly, when I put food in the deep freezer, I forgot about it.

Then my husband had one of his best husband-moments of our marriage.  He helped me problem solve.  Knowing me as well as he does, he came up with a solution that catered to multiple facets of my craziness.  He suggested that we inventory the freezer and make a list of all the food in there.  He actually said, “It’s like that list it is one of your to-do lists, and your job is to erase things off of it by using that food.”  BRILLIANT.

Josh was successful in convincing me to throw out much of the old food before we moved to the house, so I started fresh.  This made a huge difference in making this system work.  I started by making a list of all the food in our freezer, along with the quantities of each item and broke it up into categories (Meat, Bread, Meals, Vegetables, Fruit & Misc).  We adhered a whiteboard to the deep freezer door and I wrote all of the contents on it.

Deep Freezer Organization -

The whiteboard works perfectly, because it’s easy to keep the list updated.  When we take something out, we adjust the list and when we put food in, we write it in.  It’s a quick at-a-glance way to know what we have in our freezer.  Having this system for a couple of years now, we’ve found that it is beneficial for even more reasons than we originally intended.

  1. It’s a lot harder to completely forget about those items that inevitably get pushed to the back of the freezer that you never reach to unless you’re getting ready to defrost it. Whether you see something when you look in the freezer isn’t the determining factor in whether that item gets used.  Looking at the list allows me to see everything in the freezer, even if I can’t easily see it when I open the door.
  2. It helps if you do bulk purchasing. We buy a number of items from Sam’s Club or Trader Joe’s – both of which are at least an hour away, so we don’t get there often.  When we do go, we buy multiples of things.  Before the whiteboard, we’d stand in the frozen food aisle at Trader Joe’s and try to recall what we needed more of.  We had about a 50% success rate.  We would predictably get back from one of those trips and put our three bags of frozen mangoes away only to find that we already had three, but were completely out of mixed berries.  Now, before we leave for Fargo or Minneapolis (where I joke that there are “real” stores and I can do “real” shopping), we take a picture of the whiteboard.  No more guess work in the frozen food aisle; we just pull out our phones and we know exactly what we need.
  3. It helps tremendously with menu planning. I start my weekly menu planning at our deep freezer.  Looking at the list of everything that we have helps me get started for ideas of what to make.  As much as possible, I try to use what we already have to minimize the amount that we need to buy.
  4. It’s a great motivator. I don’t write dates on the whiteboard, but because we’re constantly updating it, I have a fairly good idea what’s in there that’s getting old.  So, like a to-do list where items should be crossed off, the items on the whiteboard should be consumed.  This probably isn’t true for everyone, but it totally works with my competitive nature.  I couldn’t tell you the last time I had to throw something away because it got old in our freezer.

Deep Freezer Organization -

Deep Freezer Organization -

I have found that using the whiteboard is an integral piece in the success of this system.  Having something that is right there and is easily edit-able makes all of the difference for us.  Also, the whiteboard markers that have the magnet on them are necessary.

As is true with most organization tools, their success is dependent the pieces being easily and quickly accessible.

Receipt Organization

How long do you keep receipts for things you purchase?  We keep them for a year – because almost everything is not able to be returned after one year.

I have a (cheap) accordion-style coupon organizer.  It’s small (6”x12”), so it fits in a drawer and it has 12 compartments.  Each of the compartments are labeled for each of the months.  All of our receipts go in that month’s compartment.  At the beginning of each month, I pull out the previous year’s receipts from that month and go through them.  Every once in a while there’s a receipt that I think we should keep for a little longer, and it goes in the very back of the accordion.  All the rest get thrown away to make room for this month’s purchases.  It makes it really easy to minimize paper clutter due to holding on to unnecessary receipts, and it makes it easier to find a receipt if you do end up needing to return something.

Receipt Organization -

Receipt Organization -

*We only keep receipts for things that may need to be returned.  Once logged in our checking account, receipts for things such as groceries and gas get thrown away.

Coordinating Gift Meals

One of the greatest gifts we got when Elida was born wasn’t anything (directly) for her. My friend, Brooke, visited us in the hospital the day that she was born and said “I will take care of coordinating meals for you, so if anyone asks you about bringing you food, have them talk to me.” I was in the post-partum exhaustion/elation haze and just said “Okayyyyyy”, not really knowing what that means.

Brooke has had four babies. She totally gets this bringing-home-baby craziness that I was experiencing for the first time. She knew what a blessing this would be. When someone offered to bring us a meal and asked what we’d like, I just said, “Brooke is taking care of coordinating that. You can call her.”, and didn’t think anything else about it.

The day after we got home from the hospital, Brooke called me and asked how often we wanted meals (every day for the next week, every other day for the next couple weeks, on Tuesdays and Thursdays, etc.), what kinds of foods we didn’t like and what time we’d like them to bring the food. Then she said that she’d coordinate the meals and let me know who was bringing what when. And that’s just what she did.

As it turns out, there were a number of generous people who wanted to bring us food after we brought E home so that I wouldn’t have to worry about cooking. I was amazed. What I would have never known, but that Brooke had learned in her birthing of four children was that sometimes that generosity can actually make things harder. Well-intentioned as people may be, if left to their own to bring meals may mean having 3 meals show up in one day, another one the next evening as you’re finishing making something (awkward!) and another one that your family simply will not eat.

After being on the receiving end of this, I decided that this is a great gift and this kind of gift is totally up my alley. (I get to make a spreadsheet!) When one of my friends have a baby, I let them know that I will take care of coordinating this for them. I ask them the following questions: (which I learned from Brooke)

  1. How often would you like a gifted meal (daily, a certain number of times per week, one day a week, etc.)?
  2. What kinds of food do your family particularly like?
  3. What kinds of foods would not be enjoyed by your family?
  4. What is the best time for food to be delivered?

I also give them a few cards with my contact information. That way, if a person says something to my friend about bringing a meal, they have a very easy way to say “My friend is taking care of this so that I don’t have to think about it.” Use this printable and fill in your contact information and then give them to the new mom (ideally, before the baby is even born).

I use this chart to track who is bringing what meal when. After I’ve got it all scheduled, then I simply let my friend know who will be coming on which days with what delicious meals.  The newborn stage has it’s challenges, but it also is filled with so much joy, and if there’s something I can do to diminish challenges and allow friends to enjoy more of the good stuff, then that is a gift I can’t wait to give!